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The following was posted by Brian Kim on his wonderful site
www.briankim.net
I think a lot of people have a bad habit of comparing themselves with other people. They look at their friends, schoolmates, neighbors and see in them all the things they want that they don’t have (aka greener grass). The nice car, lots of friends, pretty girlfriend, house, etc. This can cause a host of problems such as depression, feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, anger, etc., all of which are very unhealthy for the mind and body.
My hope for this article is to convince people to not compare themselves to others.
How?
Think of your life as your own empire.
Then, focus on building it.
Do NOT concentrate on other people’s empires (lives). Don’t worry about the guy with the flashy BMW, or the gorgeous girlfriend, or the nice house and job.
Concentrate on building YOUR OWN EMPIRE.
Let me use an example that I learned from one of my past co-workers to explain what I’m talking about. This co-worker, (we’ll call him Tom for privacy’s sake), LOVED to talk about wrestling. If you so much as whispered the words “body slam”, he would show up out of nowhere and talk about how Hogan slammed the Giant at Wrestlemania and how it was the greatest moment ever, but I digress.
He explained the whole history of wrestling to me over the various breaks and lunches that we had. Being the friendly listener that I am, I listened intently and nodded along politely.
According to what I could remember from our detailed conversation, in the 1990s, there were two wrestling companies broadcasting their shows on TV.
One was the WWF (World Wrestling Federation), headed by Vince Mcmahon and the other WCW (World Championship Wrestling), headed by Eric Bischoff.
Up to that point, the WWF was dominating TV ratings. However, WCW started to gain traction. Eric Bischoff’s primary goal was to beat the WWF in TV ratings, which came to known later as the “Monday Night Wars” (Monday night was when both companies broadcasted their shows at the same time). Bischoff was intent on beating the WWF in ratings at all costs.
To do that, Eric Bischoff started broadcasting his shows live on Monday Night. In addition, before his show (WCW) aired, he would spill the results of the pre-taped WWF show to lure WWF audiences to the live WCW show. These tactics worked for quite some time. I believe he beat the WWF for over a year in ratings.
What did the WWF do? Did they put all their energy and focus on beating WCW? Did they get flustered, angry, consumed with jealousy?
No.
Instead, they worked on developing their own talents. They worked on storylines. They created better characters and constantly changed things that weren’t working within their own company.
WCW’s sole goal was to beat WWF on Monday Night. They did anything to make it happen. Trouble was, they didn’t focus on building their own company (empire). They were too busy focusing on the other company.
As a result, chaos reigned within WCW. Decisions were made literally seconds before the show came on and disorder was rampant within the organization.
What was the result? Because the WWF focused on building its own empire, it eventually dominated the ratings and lead to the WWF buying out WCW. They also bought out ECW (another wrestling company). Today, the WWF stands unchallenged in wrestling sports entertainment.
All because the chairman of the WWF decided to focus on building his own empire and not worry about the others.
Now I hope you don’t infer from this article that you should isolate yourself in a cave and become a hermit. You should still be aware of what’s going on around you, but don’t let it consume you. Focus on building your own empire. This applies not only to business, but to your life as well.
So how can you start building your own empire and make it strong?
To do that, let’s look back at the various empires that have ruled the earth and see how we can apply what they have taught us in order to successfully build our own empires.
Let’s start with building roads.
The Roman empire was infamous for building quality roads. The result was faster communication, quicker access to resources, and a network that proved to be extremely useful in times of need, as well as many other benefits.
How can we build our own roads?
Start developing quality relationships.
Make new friends and contacts and don’t just stay idle. Breathe life into the relationships. Send business their way. Help them out. Give without ever expecting anything in return. You will find by doing so, you will build quality roads that will deliver back to you far more than what you expected. You will have quicker access to resources and a network you can depend on when you are down and out.
The great thing about human beings is that once they have been given something of value for absolutely nothing, they have an extremely strong sense of obligation to pay back way more than what they received.
So start today to build quality roads in your empire.
Build An Impenetrable Wall
No, I don’t mean isolate yourself from other people. I mean protect your empire from attack.
You will find your empire under constant attack, not only from people, but from even greater enemies such as fear and doubt. Do NOT let them enter. Keep them outside the walls of your empire and your empire will THRIVE.
When you strive to do more than the ordinary and to go for your dreams, a lot of people will tell you:
“You can’t do it.”
“Dream on.”
“Yeah right, when pigs fly.”
These statements team up with fear and doubt and they slowly start scaling the walls of your empire to invade.
What can you do to stop it?
Build a Powerful Army
Sooner or later, all empires come under attack. The ones that survive have an army that can successfully defend against it.
So how can you build your army?
Start a success journal, either in a spiral notebook, or in a Word document in your computer. Write down all the times that you were able to overcome any problems, any fears, any doubts that you had in life.
WRITE IT DOWN!!! If you’ve read my article on how to find what you love to do, you understand the importance of writing it down.
This is a powerful exercise that few people engage in. The majority of people tend to vividly remember their shortcomings, the times they couldn’t overcome, but by really sitting down and digging deep, you will find a plethora of times where you have gone the distance, have gone over the obstacles, and have triumphed. You must do justice to these memories by writing them down!
Think back and write down all the situations and circumstances where you’ve succeeded, despite the odds. Then, start to continuously add to it. No matter how small the victory is, add it to your journal.
By doing this, you slowly start to build up your army. You increase the number of men in your army. You whip them into shape. You give them body armor, swords that are so sharp they can split a hair, shields that can absorb any blows, and courage to overcome any enemies, even those as great as fear and doubt.
So whenever you feel the enemies scaling the walls of your empire, unleash your army (success journal) on them. Open up your success journal. Read from it. Reinforce the fact that many times have come up before that involved great obstacles, but you have overcome them. This time is no different.
Constantly build up your army and unleash them on the invaders that are scaling up the walls of your empire.
You will find that if you consistently do so, they will cease to attack, because they know, they will never win.
Focus on building
YOUR OWN EMPIRE by building quality roads, an impenetrable wall, and an unstoppable army to lay down the law, and you will find that comparing yourself to other people was nothing but a big waste of time and energy.
We Thank Brian again for his Insight.
Stop by and visit
The Focus Society of Overaciver and find out how others are applying the Principles to every Day Life, following
Think & Grow Rich and
The Master Key
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